ingrid

So, if you are tuned in to the goings on around the Wermeter house, you know that we are preparing to marry off our dear “daughter” Clementine.  Funny, I never have considered Clementine anything other than a friend, but something about preparing for a wedding throws the “adults” in this household, (that is me and Brad in case you wondered), into somewhat different roles.  FIrst came the negotiations with the Bantu family of the groom, where Brad had to play the role of concerned papa.  We sat down with two “uncle-type” figures and a translator and the groom and stated our expectations for the bride’s future life.  It ran something like this, “no other wives, she can continue school, she is not a servant to the family, she doesn’t have to wear a veil, she can remain Christian… etc”.  It was strange to be thrust into that role, and Brad was concerned about the responsibility, but he executed it beautifully.  

 

I suppose it is just the ceremony of marriage that calls for a family.  Even in Judeo-Christian, caucausian-American culture, (read, blandest of the bland), a wedding cries out for the participation of your whole “tribe”.  This wedding of a Congolese woman and Bantu man does that even more so, and we are trying to step into those roles when appropriate even when they don’t always fit so well, or we don’t know what to do.  And stepping into those roles includes some interesting things, like saying, “Hey babe, I know you WANT a 6 hour reception, but unless you are paying for it, it ain’t gonna’ happen!”.  Being a parent isn’t always fun.  (DUH!)  And being a parent to your “instant child” who you didn’t get to raise and is already an adult anyway is a trip too!  It is an interesting cultural experience to say the least.

Now we have only to pull together a few loose ends before the wedding next week on Wednesday and then the reception on Saturday.  It is all going too fast.  What do I have to do?  Hem yet another wedding dress, (Bantu weddings have costume changes, thus three wedding dresses), find flowers, make a bouquet, pay the reception site people, buy drinks, find shoes that fit Zephyr and tights for Francis.

I am feeling mixed about it all: sad about Clementine moving away, relieved that she is embarking on her own adventure, maybe even a little happy to be gaining a bit of space around here even as I am sad to be losing a great helper.  Mohammed is a nice man and the two of them enjoy each other a lot, so I do believe that her future life will be a fun one.  I am going to cry come Saturday though.

 

In: Current musings, family | | #