Brad and I celebrated our 11th anniversary last week. 11 years has gone fast. That isn’t long compared to say, my parents (43 years!), Brad’s parents (36 years!), or the men next door whose commitment has persevered even though the state won’t legally recognize their relationship (28 years!). Our 11 years doesn’t seem so much.
And yet I’ve learned a lot this last decade-and-change. I learned that it is best just to say clearly and simply if I am upset. I’ve learned to ask for what I need (clearly and simply) rather than wish that he would figure it out. I have learned to play board games, watch superhero movies without asking too many dumb questions, and make sandwiches without mayonnaise. I have also learned to appreciate food, (as in eat anything), not complain much, say “thank you” more, concentrate on listening during conversations about programming, science or math, and express my pleasure more generously.
And I like marriage. I always knew that I was the marrying kind. I like close, exclusive relationships, I always want to be “the favorite person” of whoever I am with, and with my husband, I get to be that all the time. It is good to me. More importantly, it is good for me, like vegetables and hot tea.
To celebrate, Brad and I spent the night at Edgefield where we got engaged 12 years ago. Mom and Dad kindly took the kids, so we were free and easy. We stayed in a tiny room, it was seriously a Bertha Mason-type garret, but it was sweet and fun just to be there. Our little attic room looked out over everything.
What to do on your anniversary?
Have a beer milkshake before dinner. Don't tell the kids!
BE awesome shooting pool.
Just try to look awesome shooting pool
8 Comments, Comment or Ping
Congrats!
September 26th, 2009
Congratulations on 11 years! It may not be long compared to some, but it is much longer than many marriages these days. I remember hearing that the two of you were together and thinking what a perfect match you are. However, the sandwiches without mayo thing kinda threw me off. The dude can make awesome pinatas, so I guess that makes up for it!
September 26th, 2009
Good job you guys!!
September 27th, 2009
Eleven years is impressive. An older man that I visit out here recently lost his wife of 64 years. He’s sort of a pill but I certainly can sympathize with his feeling that something is wrong now that Leona is not by his side. I greatly enjoyed my time with Anne but found myself not only enjoying for me but thinking about what Doug would like. Marriage teaches us to be generous. It sands us down and polishes us up! Good thing I married a woodworker.
September 28th, 2009
Just to clarify, that last picture of Ingrid is an action shot. She is sinking the 12 ball, not just posing with her cue on an empty table.
September 28th, 2009
Congratulations! And a beer milkshake?
September 30th, 2009
Yeah, McMenamins does a raspberry/ruby ale one and a terminator/chocolate. They are actually really good!
September 30th, 2009
Congratulations!!! Marriage can be difficult but you guys make it look easy.
October 7th, 2009
Reply to “The Marrying Kind”