ingrid

I don’t know what it is about me and death hikes.  I keep finding them.  I forget that many places that are beautiful to go are

• wet
• high up in the air
• made by scrabbling a barely flat surface into a cliff wall

I was pondering why we always end up like this, a white-knuckle death grip on each kid as we inch along a rock face, hissing at our dear children with each clumsy step.  (I swear that Zephyr starts tripping every third or fourth step when we are up 100 feet in the air clinging to a metal cable.  Swear.)  Why does this always happen to us?  Then it occurred to me… it is the terrain dummy.  We keep hiking to these waterfalls in the gorge.  Gorge + waterfalls = rock walls with just a cable to cling to.  If I were in Death Valley say, this wouldn’t be happening to me.

Anyway, we had a break in the rain this last weekend and we raced for the outdoors.  I feel like such a caged animal these days, eager to get out be RUN around.  I am coming to terms with my true nature.  The truth is that I like exercise.

So why not get it here?

This was Eagle Creek Trail.  William Sullivan, Northwest hike guru has this to say about this particular trail:

The Eagle Creek Trail is one of Oregon’s most spectacular paths, passing half a dozen major waterfalls. The trail is also an engineering marvel. To maintain an easy grade through this rugged canyon, the builders blasted ledges out of sheer cliffs, bridged a colossal gorge and even chipped a tunnel through solid rock behind 120-foot Tunnel Falls.

Yes siree.  It was high up there.

We did this particular hike with our friends Jason and Angela and their two boys Soren and Anders.  It is fun to have a whole family of friends.  Everyone has someone to love!  That is definitely how we feel about these guys, so we were certainly open to risking our lives with them.

Brad is such a good sport.  I have yet to decide if he really likes hiking but pretends not to or if he really does not like hiking but thinks he should or if he just doesn’t like it and… you get the picture.  For him, the best thing about hiking in the gorge is that Edgefield is between us and Portland when we are done.  The kids, (all five of them), were so exhausted that they were really pretty mellow at dinner.  Who can resist?

7 Comments | In: My super freakin' cute kids, family, food, on the road again | | #

I am trying to play more.  I am trying to relax and just be more fun.  My TSPC requirement classes made me sadly realize that I sometimes look at my kids as one great big bother, a source of stress and distraction that I must struggle to escape.  And that’s too bad, because it seems to me that I CHOSE to have these kids, right?  Why the crappy attitude?

I am such a do-er in my daily life.  I feel massive satisfaction from what I accomplish in any given day.  When Brad asks how my day went, I immediately catalogue what I achieved that day as though that justifies my whole existence, as though I am not worthwhile at all if I didn’t complete the siding on the chicken shed, plant lily starts, hang art, finish laundry and clean the kitchen.  I’ve got to fix this I know, because obviously the simple, quiet things are important too— maybe more important.  So I am going to play more and maybe do a bit less.

I’m not going to change too much– I will always love working, achieving, feeling the accomplishment that comes with being physically exhausted because you just mopped the floor on your hands and knees– but I am trying to find a little balance.  The work of mothering is a wide skill set, and the things that kids note at the end of the day are not the same things that I might catalogue to Brad as “accomplishments”.  So these are the things I am trying to do more of:

• Snuggling up with Zephyr at nap time (I would curl up with Inez if she would quit tweaking my nose)
• Reading books with kids (no, my books do not count, although once I had Francis fooled when I read Snow Flower and the Secret Fan out loud to her a few days in a row)
• Art projects (like kid ones, not the ones where I tell them to go away and let mom work)
• Dancing around
• Playing instruments and singing
• Cooking projects where they get to make a mess and maybe even lick stuff
• Baths midday (with bubbles!)
• Setting up train tracks

Part of my goal with this year is just to calm down and not achieve anything, because you know, I think I am a good enough person just sort of sitting on my ass… and playing with trains.

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“Ohhh!  Wow, it is so, and everything so Christmas looking now!”

This is what a very excited and disjointed Zephyr squealed when seeing the finished tree after he woke up from his nap.  It is so Christmas now.  I agree completely.

Who knew that decorating for Christmas would involve so much work on other things that do not seem Christmasy?  Today I washed windows.  I swept floors.  I sorted toys into different bins.  I moved furniture.  I washed chairs (like got the mashed potatoes off them), I moved art around, I hung up pictures, I rotated the rug, I kept putting a chair outside to give away and Brad kept bringing it back in, I trimmed plants in the yard, I threw away things that I had meant to fix but really seem to be way beyond hope, and I sorted clothes.  Funny.  These things don’t seem Christmasy, but I had to do them all BECAUSE we went and got a tree today.

Now the house looks all pretty and peaceful.  The kids are in bed, and look!  St Nicholas arrived a little early.  We must have been first on his list of places to stop before tomorrow morning.

Happy St Nicholas’ day.  I hope you get an orange in your shoe.

2 Comments | In: family | | #

There is a big fuss in Portland over what might happen to the Made in Oregon sign in Old Town.  That is interesting, but not too much to our family.  Around here, we have other branding issues— mainly, do we correct the kids on their totally awesome and sweet mispronunciation, or do we continue to live the lie?

You see, each year around this time, the sign owners put a red nose on the deer.  The first year we lived in Portland, Francis was two and 1/2 and very precocious.  She had seen enough of a very famous Christmas animated movie to confidently call out from her car seat, “Look!  I see Rhubarb, the red nose reindeer!”

Now that is cute right?  Cute enough that any parent would continue to try to use that wording.  Maybe even cute enough to change all mentions of some Rudolph guy in the song year after year after year.  But how long can this go on?  Francis is now 6 and still calls him Rhubarb.  Zephyr is three and is fully indoctrinated.  And you know how lies suddenly become truths with enough re-tellings?  Tonight, Brad tripped over his tongue when just leaning over to excitedly whisper to me from the train, “From here I can see Rhubarb!”.

11 Comments | In: Current musings, family | | #

Your new home?

So, it isn’t completely finished, but as the rains seem to be coming in ernest, we moved the chickens into their new home.  Sure, we need to use a chair rather than a nice sliding bolt to keep the door closed, and yes, there is a sheet of metal covering a place where chicken wire should be, but other than that, the house is perfect.  Isn’t it way, super, totally cute?  Don’t look at that storage hatch that is not on hinges yet (yeah, the one leaning against the front of the shed).  And yes, you do see places missing sheet metal… we’ll get to that.  Just look at the overall cuteness factor.  My dad did a great job designing and doing most of the work finishing this chicken mansion.

Not only do the chickens have about 10 times the space as before, they now have a completely fenced outside area that is tall enough for us humans to access without stooping.  We have hay bale storage inside the coop and chicken feed bin storage outside.  The chickens have their own access door on the front there as well as two operating windows for the summer time.  Awesome.

Inside I sort of hacked together three roosts and an access rail for the nesting boxes.  Zephyr is leaning on it and it didn’t break yet, so we might be in business.  The two Francis-es are bonding here: Francie is holding Frankie.

chicken-approved

Rather than the one measly nesting box that we had in the previous coop, we have four luxurious boxes!  I know that most of the chicken books say that one box per four chickens is fine, but that was not my experience.  Don’t believe them!  We had so many problems with not enough boxes.

As a child, my family lived for a summer in what later became a chicken coop.  It was slightly bigger than this shack, but not much!  My parents were building our house in Sheridan up in the woods and we were living in a rental in Willamina.  My mother hated the rental and hated living in town, so off we went to a 10 by 12 shed where my older sister and I slept in narrow bunks nailed to the wall and my parents slept on the floor on a roll out cot with (the then) baby, Kendall.  We had an outdoor “kitchen” comprised of a coleman stove and some storage shelves and boxes.  We sat on sawed logs and had a campfire many nights.  We had an outhouse, and got washed up in a concrete utility sink filled from a hose (yes, it was cold!).  On the way to the outhouse one night, I got within 10 feet of two bobcats, which was the last time I saw those in the woods.  Although I was pretty young, living in “the chicken shed” was among the best memories of my life!

My only regret with our new chicken coop was that we couldn’t find a night to sleep out in it before the chickens moved in.  The kids really wanted to, and I thought that would be so much fun, but unfortunately the chickens needed it more than we did, so no sleeping out.

I am pretty pleased with this place though.  Thanks Dad.

3 Comments | In: chickens, family | | #

I have had a bunch of people comment on how I am not writing.  Well, yes, remember how I said that I would not be writing?  All my creative powers (and non-existent time) is being poured into one effort— to finish classes for my continuing license renewal in order to stay employable.  And yet, I have still heard, “Wow.  I remember that you said you would not be writing, but you are really not writing… like at all!”.  It is true.  But now I am pleased to tell you that I am almost there.

I’m referring to the end of the madness… my classes are almost done.  I fully intend to send the last project off tomorrow, and then I can be a somewhat free woman again—look onward to a brighter tomorrow and all that.

Meanwhile, things still need to happen around here whether or not classes are finished.  Laundry still needs to be done.  That damn dishwasher still does not load nor unload itself once or twice a day.  I hate that thing.  Our refrigerator “fill yourself” option seems to be broken.  No matter how many times I check, it is still lacking the basic ingredients that every household needs.  And the kids.  They need all sorts of help doing things— (So helpless!  So needy!  I tell you, don’t have kids.  They can’t do anything for themselves these days.  Even the baby is useless, useless, useless!).  And get this— the worse thing is that we seem to be invaded by mice.  Just because I can’t get the food off the floor (those kids again!), they think it was left out for them.  Au Contraire raton!  That is for the shark to clean up, which I plug in faithfully each night, but he still seems to be in the same spot each morning as though he went nowhere.

Sigh.  A brighter tomorrow.  And better appliances, please.

3 Comments | In: General bitchin', My super freakin' cute kids, family | | #

Brad and I celebrated our 11th anniversary last week.  11 years has gone fast.  That isn’t long compared to say, my parents (43 years!), Brad’s parents (36 years!), or the men next door whose commitment has persevered even though the state won’t legally recognize their relationship (28 years!).  Our 11 years doesn’t seem so much.

And yet I’ve learned a lot this last decade-and-change.  I learned that it is best just to say clearly and simply if I am upset.  I’ve learned to ask for what I need (clearly and simply) rather than wish that he would figure it out.  I have learned to play board games, watch superhero movies without asking too many dumb questions, and make sandwiches without mayonnaise.  I have also learned to appreciate food, (as in eat anything), not complain much, say “thank you” more, concentrate on listening during conversations about programming, science or math, and express my pleasure more generously.

And I like marriage.  I always knew that I was the marrying kind.  I like close, exclusive relationships, I always want to be “the favorite person” of whoever I am with, and with my husband, I get to be that all the time.  It is good to me.  More importantly, it is good for me, like vegetables and hot tea.

To celebrate, Brad and I spent the night at Edgefield where we got engaged 12 years ago.  Mom and Dad kindly took the kids, so we were free and easy.  We stayed in a tiny room, it was seriously a Bertha Mason-type garret, but it was sweet and fun just to be there.  Our little attic room looked out over everything.

What to do on your anniversary?

Have a beer milkshake before dinner. Don't tell the kids!

BE awesome shooting pool.

Just try to look awesome shooting pool

8 Comments | In: Awesome!, family | | #

Francis started school last week.  Not a moment too soon is what I say.  I love my daughter dearly.  She is super smart and fun and creative.  Unfortunately, she drives me like a mule.  She can think up a million projects and games a minute and for some reason, most of them involve me.  She would also make an excellent lawyer.  She wants a 2 page document with high lighted reasons for every decision, as well as cross-referenced accounts of relevant past cases.  (“Why can’t I bring a toy to school?  You let Zephyr bring Dog to school, why can’t I bring something?  Gracie brought a toy just last week!  Why would her mom let her do that if she knows the rules?  Are you sure that the rules are the same this year?  Can you show me the place where they put the new rules?  Maybe they changed……).  Off you go!

Zephyr started preschool today.  He was thrilled.  Absolutely.  That kid has absolutely no issues with heading off into the world alone.

I think preschool will be good for him.  Like many self-involved toddlers, he thinks “But I love to” is a good enough reason to do whatever he wants.  He has truly used that response after doing all sorts of naughty things.  ”But I love to kick the chickens!”.

And, here is the classic third child left behind.  It won’t be long Inez and you can be shuffled out into the world just for a bit each day, little steps at a time, testing that fleeting, giddy, joyful independence.

4 Comments | In: My super freakin' cute kids, family | | #

My family did another Sunday Parkways.  Holy Crap!  I love it so much.  I love living in freaking Portland Oregon!

Sunday Parkways is where the city shuts down a 7 or so mile loop of neighborhoods to cars so that bikes, walkers, skaters, and runners can take over the street.  It is like the street becomes one long stretch of park where you can ride and play without worrying about being run over.  Brilliant.

The first Sunday Parkways was last year in early summer and the route went right by our house.  We did that loop through North Portland with me fairly pregnant and Francis rattling along on her bike with training wheels.  15,000 people joined us.

This year the city of Portland planned three Sunday Parkways.  Brad and I skated the North/North East route and Francis rode her “two-wheeler” without training wheels.  It was her first major biking outing.  I can’t describe how proud I was of her biking, and I am so pleased to be able to share something I love with my daughter.  I am not a major biker in terms of doing miles and miles of riding, but I truly love the freedom of being on a bike.  Being on a bike feels pure and joyous.  It is like dancing.  It makes me feel like a kid.  In my mind, I am screaming, “Woooooo hoooooo!” the whole time I am riding somewhere.

After a few years of sharing our biking/skating pictures, I have come to see that they are mostly the same.  There is one of a kid sleeping in a baby jogger.  There is one of Zephyr sucking his thumb and looking tired.  This time we add this:

Our girl looks pretty confident on her "Jet".

2 Comments | In: Awesome!, My super freakin' cute kids, family | | #

Bouquets $1.

Cucumbers 2 for 25 cents.

So goes the world of commerce at the “stand” in front of our house.  The kid made $5 in about 1 hour.  Maybe she will quit asking for Playmobil now that she can buy it herself.

4 Comments | In: My super freakin' cute kids, family | | #