Greetings folks! I was recently asked what I have been up to, and perhaps because I hadn’t had enough coffee/sleep/brain processing time- I just sort of stood there with my mouth gaping, and a big silence filling up the space. My life is not as pathetic as that momentary impression though- I have so much going on that I need some time to get it all compressed into a response. Kind of like what we call “the beachball of doom” on our computer- sometimes if you wait long enough you get the answer you wanted, you just have to be patient.
So- here’s the answer to what I have been up to:

Personal~
I just had friends visit from the UK, and we spent an amazing week in Otis, Oregon outside of Lincoln City. While there, we hiked, canoed, saw a seal, saw a herd of elk, shopped at the outlets, and went to the aquarium in Newport. We also cooked some great food and had some fun evenings playing games and visiting. It was incredibly restful and our rental house was amazing. I hope to stay there again. It was located just a few hundred yards from the Sitka center for Art and Ecology at the base of Cascade Head.

I have also been obsessed with Juvenile Literature lately- especially the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins. Good, but not as riveting was Feed- a cautionary tale of a future with internet tweeting installed into our brains to both satisfy our every need, and manipulate our desires and spending. Creepy stuff. No microchip in my brain, thank you very much.

Kids are getting ready to go back to school, and I am scheduling actvities for the Fall, including theatre (musical in a month with Rose Children’s Theatre), and a Tai Chi class for me. Also arranging walking buddies, and other opportunities to get together with all the adults in my life that I miss during summer break because we are all running around.

Artistically~
I am sitting in tomorrow evening at a friend’s gig, and doing some crazy stuff including a tune taken from Anton Dvorak’s New World Symphony. I will be doing some gigs this fall with 2 guys whom I enjoy playing with. These playlists will include new songs (for me) from folks whose recordings are hard to find, let alone their music. Ethel Waters, OLD Lena Horne from her early days in the “darkie” movies, and obscure blues tunes.

This year I will be teaching music to 1st and 2nd graders at our school. I recently had a meeting with the teacher to create a music curriculum that reflects the class curriculum. It has been a fun challenge to find music that the kids will enjoy and be challenged by. We are going to have a lot of fun! I get to cover subjects from soil to Africa and Conservation. Wow. I am going to have to work a lot to pull this together.

This is the year that I record a Christmas album! In October, I will head into the studio to record some of the tunes I did for my last Holiday concert. I will be posting the music online for purchase, and proceeds will go to a secret project that I am working on. I can only tell you that it involves creating an opportunity for a child who can use all the opportunities they can get, but thus far has had very few advantages in life. Please plan to buy my Christmas album! I would like to raise $2k with this project.

Civically~
I am working with the board of the Willamette Jazz Society to help secure our 501c3 funding so that we can begin applying for grants. The Jazz Station is moving to a new, larger venue- and will need to step up its fundraising efforts to begin to build a vibrant community performance and education space. I am already beginning planning for our Black History Month programming. It’s going to be amazing- and will include a retrospective of tunes made famous by singers who have recently passed away- including Abbey Lincoln, and Lena Horne. I also want to have a film series, maybe a performance of some of Max Roach’s Freedom Suite, and other programming that is exciting to local audiences. It’s going to take some coordination. whew!

My own non-profit, Orpheus Collective, is going to launch a fundraising effort in Spring of 2011. Please save your change, cause I’m going to hit you up… each and everyone of you! Orpheus Collective’s mission is to provide After-School Music Education in Non-Classical musics to Students in Title 1 Schools in Eugene that receive less than an hour of music education a week. That’s pretty much every Title School in our community. It is a HUGE undertaking, but our first project is to have a Guitar class for 15 kids. Right now though, I am in the paperwork stage- registering as a non-profit with the State of Oregon.

Well, that- in a nutshell- is what I have been up to. Life has been busy- but wonderful. I am so glad I got to see so many of you at David and Carmel’s party. I love it when we can connect and catch up! If you ever are in Eugene, please let me know so we can get together. We also still have a guest room available for weary travelers. Hope to see you soon.
~Kirstin

We did it! With copious thanks to my Dad who has crazy skills, and with some hard work hauling, tearing-out, and sanding- we managed to complete a mini-remodel on the kitchen.
It became clear that this was needed when our oven, original to the house- 1964- started operating only in Hades mode. We would turn it on and the temperature would climb to over 600′- turning everything we baked into charcoal. I am not crazy about wall ovens, and it turned out they were way expensive to replace, so I thought we should go with a range/cooktop combo and tear out the dirty old cooktop as well- also original to the house.
If we were going to tear out the cooktop, we would have to take out the countertop- a circa 1980s off-white laminate with stains and burns beyond removal. Wouldn’t you know it- the dishwasher started making noises too, just as I was preparing estimates for the countertops, range, and hood. I figured we ought to replace our 30 year old dishwasher, and if we were taking that out- we might as well, replace that countertop as well, and if we were taking out the countertop- the old cast iron sink might as well go away, and then we would need a new faucet.
After much work- and an unexpected need to hire an electrician- the job is completed. Here is a short photo trip through our petit kitchen remodel:

The icky old oven is GONE!

Cutting into the old countertops- hooray!

A familiar sight to many in this family…

New IKEA (Whirlpool) range and hood

Dishwasher, sink, and new countertop

Aaaaah- allow me to wax poetic about the new sink and faucet for a second. The sink was found at Bring Recycling for $25. The faucet though was my big splash-out on the project. I absolutely fell in love with the commercial styling of this faucet. The pre-rinse sprayer and the way it dangles so gracefully from its pole. Everytime I see it I just feel awed. It is so beautiful to behold.

So that’s it in a nutshell- my petit kitchen remodel. Thanks Dad, for volunteering your amazing craftsmanship, and construction know-how for this project! I am so pleased with the outcome!

Come on by sometime and stay for coffee, or better yet- let me cook for you, in our new, lovely kitchen. Please call ahead for reservations.

Because it is beautiful and amazing and full of red worms! Even I am astounded by its incredible quality when I shovel it. With each turn of the spade, I smile as I move the rich, black soil to nourish other plants. I am proud of my compost. That’s why it gets its own post!

I had to look online to see what it is called when a certain smell reminds you of a moment long gone. And- there doesn’t seem to be a term for it! Strange though- according to scientists, we shouldn’t even be able to recall smell. I can- if I think of a turkey dinner, or a Christmas tree, or the smell of a swimming pool or video arcade- I can recall all those smells.
Here is what I found on smells and memory:
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Scientists have long wondered how we manage to remember smells despite the fact that each olfactory neuron in the epithelium only survives for about 60 days, to be replaced by a new cell. In most of the body, neurons die without any successors. But as the olfactory neurons die, a layer of stem cells beneath them constantly generates new olfactory neurons to maintain a steady supply.

“The riddle was, how can we remember smells when these neurons are constantly turning over and the new crop has to form new synapses?” says Buck. “Now we know the answer: Memories survive because the axons of neurons that express the same receptor always go to the same place.”
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Whay am I writing about this?
I just found an amazing chair at St. Vinnie’s- and it’s beautiful and wonderful and made of teak. I brought it home and oiled it lovingly, then laid down on the couch to read a book. The smell of the oil and the teak soaking it up reminded me of the smell of my dad working on some of the beautiful teak creations he has crafted through the years. What an amazing smell- I find myself sniffing my chair and being transported to a time long past. Did I mention it’s a really pretty chair? Here’s a picture:

After sniffing my chair- I went outside to ponder rototilling- and was once again overtaken by another memory-smell. The motor oil/gas that dad used in the chainsaw. That brought up another memory- the molding smell of carpet in the horrible green hornet van. In my mind the smell is that of mold and wet firewood, with lichen and moss and chainsaw gas.

I have so many smells that are special to me; the smell of the fabric dust in my mom’s sewing room, or the smell of stuffing and an overworked sewing machine. I can summon the smell of warm hay in the chicken shed. I can smell my eldest daughter’s stinky shoes, and my youngest daughter’s fishtank- just by thinking about them. These last 2 are not fond smells…

Anyway- the point is that smell is a powerful thing. What are the smells that bring back memories for you?

My child is 10 years old. 10 years old! How did this happen?

10 years ago, I held this little person in my arms. I don’t remember it- but pictures suggest that this actually happened. I won’t go into details on this- but my fervent prayer was that if I had another child- I would actually remember their birth- and damn, I will never forget how awful it was. I digress.
10 years ago- upon become a mother, an actual mom to an actual other person- I was really anxious. I was convinced that I would forget her somewhere, put her baby seat on top of the car and drive off- the anxiety dreams were horrible. We very slowly learned to live with each other, and very few really bad things happened.
My philosophy of life is that we all show up with our gifts and challenges. Lauren is an interesting little person- and she has had the same struggles, basically, since she was small. I remember being a self-righteous Sociology student and having a discussion of Nature Vs. Nurture. None of the students in the discussion had children. Now I think I know why our professor was kind of smiling to herself in a laughing way. Here is what I imagine her internal dialogue was:
“Ha- they haven’t a clue what they are in for. Here they are- so young- believing that they are ultimately powerful and can control all outcomes. Boy, life has a shocker in store for them!”

One of the most fascinating and wonderful things about being someone’s mother- (even now this amazes me and sometimes disturbs me as well), is that you get to watch them become, overcome, and mold the gifts they have into something that will bring joy and fulfillment to them and those around them. This is the mysterious part of life- that some folks will struggle all their lives with recurring challenges and never be able to surmount them. Some folks will overcome their challenges with such grace and strength that those around them are awed by their journey. And some people will quietly struggle with demons that others know nothing about, but they put so much energy and concerted effort into facing their challenges, that people around them admire them for reasons they don’t understand.
Likewise- some people work to build up their gifts for the benefit of people around them. Some will keep their gifts hidden away from fear of facing themselves. Some will only let themselves feel the joy of expressing their gifts a little bit.

All of this brings me back to being a parent. As a mom or dad, you get front-row seats to your child’s early years of becoming what they are meant to be. You get to puzzle out the significance of their gifts and their struggles- but you can’t talk about them- or you end up affecting their expression. Instead you watch, and wait, and try to help create opportunities for building up skills that will help them go out into the World and make their way.

I know that life will find my dear child who turns 10 today. I know that in too few years she will be leaving our home to make her way. Every child must do this, I know. But today, as I remember what it felt like to hold her tiny warm little self in my arms- I know that she will ultimately be fine. Life WILL find her. But while I can- I will work to help her to have the skills to face its challenges- and rise above them.

Happy Birthday to the little girl who first made me a mother.

Here’s another voice-over for NextStep Recycling. The engineer called me a “One Take Wonder” again. I may have a chance to be the voice of The March of Dimes. I hope that works out- this is super fun!
NextStep April 10 030210

Hi everyone! I would like to ask for some help with a project.

I volunteer in the school library, and in my day- I see a lot of incredible kids, but every now and then, I see a kid who is so on fire for learning about something that it’s hard not to get sucked in to their excitement. This is the case with a little boy I see every Wednesday. I would like to ask you all to help me with a fun project.

This little boy lives with his grandma and has a tough life situation- but he absolutely LOVES planes, jets, helicopters, and has read every book the library has on these topics. I suggested that now that he has gone through all the airplane books, that he look at weather books because he wants to be a pilot- and weather is important to know about. He is so desperate for books on airplanes- and he’s not a kid whose family is going to take him to the public library.

If you are out thrift store shopping and come across books about planes that are in great condition- would you consider donating it to my effort to create more reading materials for this kid? I can donate the books to the school library and then this 1st grader can read them and other kids can learn about flight too.

This is the mission I am on currently- to donate books about planes in the hopes that it fuels this little boy’s dream to be a pilot someday. I would appreciate any help you can give!

Hey All! Well, this has been a roller-coaster of a week. I think I told some of you about the grand piano I was looking at getting from a couple that is moving to Thailand. It had that amazing old piano sound- the deep resonant sound that new pianos just don’t have. A piano has been part of my plan since we moved into this house- and when people ask me why the space in our front room is open, I tell them that the piano is going to go there. You can’t see it in this picture, but it is a vintage 5foot ebony baby grand.

Ingrid told Jim something interesting last time we visited, she said something to the effect of “You will always have a nice life” in reference to living with me. Sometimes I feel guilty or materialistic about my desire to surround myself with beautiful, comfortable things. I can’t really explain why, but my living environment is so important to have a certain way. It needs to feel inviting, and people need to be able to relax and feel good about expressing themselves personally and artistically in my home.

So the piano tech said the instrument needs to be partially restrung, has a crack in the case, and about 1k worth of other problems. I was disappointed. In my mind, I was planning the fabulous birthday party where we sing showtunes until 2am. The other vision I have is that on those quiet morning where you can look over the blanket of fog in the lower field, I am playing while the tea kettle is on the stove. I see Caroling parties where folks sip hot cider and sing rousing versions of jingle bells. My life really is kind of like a Jane Austin novel in my mind. Anyway, I decided to walk away from the mega-deal. Someday though- the space pictured above WILL have an old grand piano in it.

It’s OK to want space to be beautiful. To that end, I have been working my tail off in the garden. This week I put in a lot of plants, and trees. Kiwi, lavender, lilacs, pincushions, and bearded irises. I also moved a bunch of river rock we had into a sort of garden installation.

In the front yard, I dug holes and planted 5 asian pear trees that will be espaliered into a living fence. Our neighbor has asian pears and everything should pollinate nicely. This summer, our yard should be a beautiful place to hang out and have picnics and tea parties. I hope you will join us! I am working hard when the sun shines, so that this summer our yard will be host to a profusion of deer resistant blooms.

Today if the sun shines long enough to dry things out a bit, I am going to use my old electric edger to clean up the lines along the beds and create some new planting areas. Until then I will be out in my rain gear pressure washing the patio and driveway. Spring is coming, regardless of what that dumb old groundhog thinks. The trees are budding out and everything feels alive with becoming.

Sonja’s exuberant teacher nearly tackled me today and told me I had to read Sonja’s Writing Journal. She has been working on this entry for a long time- and it’s so cute, I thought I would post part of it here- complete with spelling errors ; )

My favorite musical is CATS. I like CATS because it has lots of singing and dancing. I am learning the songs in CATS. I can list the songs I know. Memory. Macavity, Jellicles songs for jellicles cats. I know more but I will not list them all. Too many to list. Check them out!

When I grow up I want to be in CATS, and The Lion King. I love Brodway musicals. Acshuli any kind fo musicals. Me and my mom and dad and grapa and grama wher gowing to CATS, but thar wher only 2 tikits left, so my mom is going to take just me.

My second favrit musical is The Lion King. I like it becus it has singing and dancing. Yesterday we wacht The Lion King. It was the Disne kind, but I want to wach the kind with the masks and costoms. Just think one day I’ll be famis! I’ll be on Brod way!

I also want to wach the King and I. I wunder what it is about. I know some songs from The King and I. I can’t thik of the names. But I know i have wuntid to wach it for yers! I can’t wate to grow up! As thae say- thars no bisnis like show bissnes!

I hope you know how much I love brodway! I forgot to mention my mom is going to sign me up for a camp! Soon CATS will happen in Eugene. I can’t wate! The camp is going to do a play called Buotees and Beasts. I love acting. I do a lot wen I act. On my birthday if I do not like a presint, I can act like I like it. I have to admit i am a prity good actress.

Olmost evree day I lisin to CATS or The Lion King. I am triing to get in a play called “Josiv and the teknik colerd dream code”. Yesterday I went to my first odishin! I did grate,fablis,fantastic, and vary vary good.

Yesterday me and my mom went to CATS. I want to show you some pictures. This is Grisubella the glamer cat and me.

Here is Old Dotronme.

I think a cat that was funominal was Gus the Theater cat. He was really shaking. Me and my mom met Gus before he got dresst. He told the other cats in the play that I liketed the muicol CATS, so at the end this cat took me around and made sher I got my pichurs takin.

I thik all the cats did a great job. I thik the hartest part was Girsabella becas she had a lot of felings in her songs. I also likt skiboleshanks the rail way cat.

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Kirstin here taking back the reins ; )
You know when a kid is just filled up with joy? Sonja was crazy happy to get to see CATS on Sunday. We had such fun- and she has been talking about it with anyone who will listen.

I love the enthusiasm that she expresses around her acting. It’s a delight to see that energy, and whether she becomes an actress in the future or not, she is having so much fun with new experiences.

Both girls got in to Jacob and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and will be doing that production in April. We are into our crazy rehearsal schedule now, but the kids are learning a lot working with the music director and choreographer. It’s going to be a big show. I hope some of you can make it down to see the show!

It’s going to be “FABLIS” and “FUNOMINAL”.

Hey folks-
I was invited to speak tonight at a mediated meeting of parents from McCornack. I believe there are several Latino parents being asked to speak and several non-Latino parents. Then we divide into small groups and have facilitated conversations. This has come about as a result of some very angry rumblings among parents at our school who feel that we are devoting too many of our resources to ELL. I’d like to say that after this evening everything will be hearts and flowers and we will join hands and sing kumbaya- but I am pretty sure this will be just one small step on the path to creating greater understanding between parent communities.

Yesterday I walked to a coffee shop about 3 miles from here (yay Me!)- and as I was sitting reading books that people donate to the bookshelf- I picked up a book called Understanding the Culture of Poverty. Reading was so incredible- it called into question a lot of the assumptions I make about people and what they OUGHT to do, especially to prepare their children for success in education. Wow.

The book outlined generalized values systems for people of different backgrounds and income levels. How people develop or use friendships, how they approach money, attitudes toward education, and more. It was fascinating to see myself in there a few times and think, is the reason I have trouble coming to agreement with this person in my life a matter of values and assumptions?

I was asked to speak tonight and I am shaking in my shoes. After reading this I feel that I cannot take a stance of self-righteousness ever because I am not other-aware. I was so worried that people might be offended by my explanation of what I want from my children’s education- but then I thought I would explain this recent revelation. We’ll see- maybe folks will roll their eyes and fall asleep- but I am just going to speak from my truth. Here is an excerpt from what I wrote up:

When I think about what my expectations of my children’s education are, the values my parents passed on to me come out loud and clear. Here are just a few of my hopes and dreams for my children’s education here at McCornack and in the larger context of their lives:

I want them to love to learn, and become people who seek out opportunities to learn about things they love. I think the buzzword
is “lifelong learners”. Reading and writing are very high on my list of specific skills, but also art, music, science, math, and geography. I want them to be familiar with all the ways in which we try to understand and reflect the world around us, and bring meaning to our sometimes confusing experiences.

I want my children to understand that everyone has their own experience, and their own family & cultural values will always be at play- and that those values make us unique and fascinating people. I want them to have respect for people who see things differently than they do, or make different choices. I want my children to have the humility to say, “You see this differently than I do- tell me more about how you see it”. I want my children to have a more global perspective of things- to want to learn about other cultures, lands, and ways of being.

I want my children to always be critical thinkers, people who question further. I want them to be able to look at what they are learning and ask, “Why is that so?” and “How does this affect me?” or “Could there be more to this?”

I come from a family that had a heart for social justice. The Nuns taught my mother to have compassion for those who struggle. I want my children to also have a heart for social justice and service- and to look around them and ask how they can build up their community or the World by addressing the needs of others. Maybe this won’t be on a large scale, maybe it will mean they take soup to an elderly neighbor- but I want them to see beyond their own survival. I want them to appreciate that we are all connected and that when we bring others up- we all benefit.

I want my girls to have healthy relationships with others. To make sure they are treated with dignity and respect, and not hang around allowing anyone to mistreat them. I want them to feel strong and secure within themselves- and to have the ability to examine their motives honestly and courageously.

Another important value of my family is that the education of a child is not the sole responsibility of the school. The learning does not begin and end with the school day. As a parent, I have at least an equal share in my children’s education- probably much greater. It is my job to look for ways to advance their learning, respond to their unique talents, and encourage them in their personal development. I don’t know about the parents here- but my children showed up with their own unique personalities and gifts. Before kids I would have said that children are a blank slate- but now I think they arrive with special gifts and challenges. I feel that my main job is to respond to what they came with, and create opportunity to go further. These are efforts that I hope will help them move through the World with grace, wisdom and compassion.

These are my values- and they may not be shared by all here. They are personal and reflect my tradition and the way I was raised. It is my truth alone-