Hey folks-
I was invited to speak tonight at a mediated meeting of parents from McCornack. I believe there are several Latino parents being asked to speak and several non-Latino parents. Then we divide into small groups and have facilitated conversations. This has come about as a result of some very angry rumblings among parents at our school who feel that we are devoting too many of our resources to ELL. I’d like to say that after this evening everything will be hearts and flowers and we will join hands and sing kumbaya- but I am pretty sure this will be just one small step on the path to creating greater understanding between parent communities.

Yesterday I walked to a coffee shop about 3 miles from here (yay Me!)- and as I was sitting reading books that people donate to the bookshelf- I picked up a book called Understanding the Culture of Poverty. Reading was so incredible- it called into question a lot of the assumptions I make about people and what they OUGHT to do, especially to prepare their children for success in education. Wow.

The book outlined generalized values systems for people of different backgrounds and income levels. How people develop or use friendships, how they approach money, attitudes toward education, and more. It was fascinating to see myself in there a few times and think, is the reason I have trouble coming to agreement with this person in my life a matter of values and assumptions?

I was asked to speak tonight and I am shaking in my shoes. After reading this I feel that I cannot take a stance of self-righteousness ever because I am not other-aware. I was so worried that people might be offended by my explanation of what I want from my children’s education- but then I thought I would explain this recent revelation. We’ll see- maybe folks will roll their eyes and fall asleep- but I am just going to speak from my truth. Here is an excerpt from what I wrote up:

When I think about what my expectations of my children’s education are, the values my parents passed on to me come out loud and clear. Here are just a few of my hopes and dreams for my children’s education here at McCornack and in the larger context of their lives:

I want them to love to learn, and become people who seek out opportunities to learn about things they love. I think the buzzword
is “lifelong learners”. Reading and writing are very high on my list of specific skills, but also art, music, science, math, and geography. I want them to be familiar with all the ways in which we try to understand and reflect the world around us, and bring meaning to our sometimes confusing experiences.

I want my children to understand that everyone has their own experience, and their own family & cultural values will always be at play- and that those values make us unique and fascinating people. I want them to have respect for people who see things differently than they do, or make different choices. I want my children to have the humility to say, “You see this differently than I do- tell me more about how you see it”. I want my children to have a more global perspective of things- to want to learn about other cultures, lands, and ways of being.

I want my children to always be critical thinkers, people who question further. I want them to be able to look at what they are learning and ask, “Why is that so?” and “How does this affect me?” or “Could there be more to this?”

I come from a family that had a heart for social justice. The Nuns taught my mother to have compassion for those who struggle. I want my children to also have a heart for social justice and service- and to look around them and ask how they can build up their community or the World by addressing the needs of others. Maybe this won’t be on a large scale, maybe it will mean they take soup to an elderly neighbor- but I want them to see beyond their own survival. I want them to appreciate that we are all connected and that when we bring others up- we all benefit.

I want my girls to have healthy relationships with others. To make sure they are treated with dignity and respect, and not hang around allowing anyone to mistreat them. I want them to feel strong and secure within themselves- and to have the ability to examine their motives honestly and courageously.

Another important value of my family is that the education of a child is not the sole responsibility of the school. The learning does not begin and end with the school day. As a parent, I have at least an equal share in my children’s education- probably much greater. It is my job to look for ways to advance their learning, respond to their unique talents, and encourage them in their personal development. I don’t know about the parents here- but my children showed up with their own unique personalities and gifts. Before kids I would have said that children are a blank slate- but now I think they arrive with special gifts and challenges. I feel that my main job is to respond to what they came with, and create opportunity to go further. These are efforts that I hope will help them move through the World with grace, wisdom and compassion.

These are my values- and they may not be shared by all here. They are personal and reflect my tradition and the way I was raised. It is my truth alone-